I'm gonna start a club. a hate one. in his face.

I hate Brett Ratner.
When did this animosity begin? After seeing his X-Men movie. I made a lofty critique that he has no art in him. He lacks a vision of beauty, subtlety, grace. He is far too fond of wind machines.
And then he made a kajillion dollars with that flick.
And probably a kajillion more on the next one. (rough estimates.)

My hate time line continues:

Then I read an article, a profile, where he's all 'I hang out with the hottest chicks. I'm going to this premiere with Blahbiblah. She's the hottest thing out right now' (that's not the name of the Asian chick from Mission Impossible III, but that's who he meant.) And maybe I don't remember more specifics of the article, but I do remember getting a slime vibe that put him on the scale just above Joe Francis. But then it's worse because Joe Francis doesn't claim to be an artist. (What he claims to be I would like to know, but I digress.)

THEN.
I get glimpses of his Heidi Klum-starring ads for Jordache jeans.
check it:


do you hate this like I do? It's just sooo Brett Ratner. and by that I mean, not as cool as he thinks it is. It's basic. Boring. Banal. Ooooh mirrors, oooooh a whip. NO, BRETT. LAME.

ok, if this all seems objective and overly opinionated, take heart, now I have proof!

ahem, LA Times, Feb. 23rd. An article about Julian Schnabel's art opening.
an exerpt:
""Rush Hour 3" director Brett Ratner arrived at the Gagosian with one of "Diving Bell's" stars, Emmanuelle Seigner, and stood contemplating the work.

"I don't know if I would hang it in my house, but I find it very interesting," Ratner said. "He's definitely an artist and a filmmaker. An artist can make art in any medium."

The director paused. "Alina, don't touch the paintings!" he suddenly admonished a gorgeous female companion he spotted absent-mindedly leaning most of her shoulder onto one of Schnabel's canvases."

Ok then, lemme count the ways.
1 - Requisite mention of him hanging out with a hottie of the moment.
2 - The 'hang it in my house' line is classic ignorant art idiot.
3 - The 'artist can make art in any medium' is also idiotic but not as classic. Who has ever said that???? No one, because it makes no sense. Any medium? Every 'artist' can paint, sculpt, film-make, clothing design, compose, song write, dance, choreograph, decorate interiorily, dog groom?? Ug.
and 4 - He hangs out with morons who lean on paintings.


Oh.
And he's ugly.
Join the club!! Join it in his face!


yours truly,
TALL.

source: http://www.calendarlive.com/tv/radio/cl-et-schnabel23feb23,0,3536611.story